October 8, 2008
by Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf (Washington, DC)
Seventeen Uighur terrorists, taken prisoner by the US in an Al Qaeda training camp in Afghanistan, whom Judge Ricardo Urbina yesterday ordered be released onto the streets of Washington DC by this Friday, today had the terms of their release challenged by Winton Demarassey, ACLU lawyer. Demarassey stated, since the DC gun ban was overthrown by DC v. Heller, Washington DC was no longer a safe place for Muslim terrorists to settle down. “I filed a brief requesting the court to resettle the seventeen Uighur jihadists in a highly populated region that has totally disarmed its citizens, a city like Presidential candidate Barack Obama’s hometown, Chicago.” The city of big shoulders has a complete ban on gun ownership in the city and is thought to be a much safer place to resettle America-hating jihadists who have been trained by Al Qaeda in secret operations, bomb-making, and the manufacture of primitive chemical and biological weapons.
“I have already sent personal recommendations to a Chicago employer that runs a massive chemical plant near the population center of the Chicago region,” says Demarassey. “That would be a swell job for them, especially with their training in practical chemistry.”
When this reporter questioned the Barack Obama campaign about this story, campaign manager David Axelrod asked if the Uighurs were being resettled in Hyde Park. “Geez, I hope not. That’d be bad!” Axlerod added.
Trackposted to The Virtuous Republic, Blog @ MoreWhat.com, , Rosemary’s Thoughts, third world county, Faultline USA, The World According to Carl, Shadowscope, The Pink Flamingo, Leaning Straight Up, Cao’s Blog, Democrat=Socialist, and Right Voices, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.
Technorati Tags: Satire, Humor, 2nd Amendment, Uighurs, Gitmo
Beaglescout 
OMG! At first I started to crack up. Imagine that? The ACLU fighting to NOT let them out in DC! What about the people who DO live there? I guess they’d be better off until these terrorists decide to drive back. And then they want to give them jobs in a chemical plant? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE???
Gotcha! 🙂
Actually this is something I would expect to find on Scott Ott’s blog – “ScrappleFace”. It’s hilarious and only about a nickel away from being “right on”
Personally, I would close Gitmo (Sorry Rush) and since Israel ‘owes’ us a few favors, ship them to Israel. Let the ACLU deal with THEM. No, that’s a bad idea, Israel would turn around and swap the bunch of them to Hammas for one Israeli soldier (alive or even a dead body).
Better idea, put all of Gitmo detainees on a Princess luxury Cruise Liner and when it mistakenly goes off course and ‘cruises’ past an old rusting hulk being used as a target for Navy ‘Top Gun’ Pilot’s practice just as a new pilot in training makes a tactical error in target acquisition. We could make requisite apologies bwo diplomatic channels.