My liege, the Royal Majesty Representative Gene Taylor,
Forgive my impertinence, but we have sent many a messenger to date and have received no reply.
Word has spread from the tribes of the north of communists building a fleet of many a flat bottomed riverboat to attack the kingdom in response to your Royal HR3200 and other Healthcare Change Bills decree!
They must not be allowed to succeed. I beg thee, in the name of the Crown – order thy soldiers to take up the baseball bat to repel the evil invaders!
We have begun to organize the defenses around Vancleave in anticipation, but reinforcements are sorely needed; a plague of cholera has infected the camp and decimated our numbers; morale is plummetting and even the knights have taken to sweet tea! We require a reserve force of no less than 1.7 Trillion soldiers to hold the territory.
A glorious battle, to be sung of ages hence, is at hand. And lo, in those days to come, when peace reigns once more throughout the land, men will dine on crawfish and tell the tale.
May divine Providence be with us.
Duke Dick Butkis