Beagle Scout

When the emperor and the tricksters are one and the same, this is still what we get.

Technorati Tags: Emperor’s New Clothes, Video

Ladies and Gentlemen, It is my distinct pleasure to introduce Mr. Al Gore!

Hello, hello, it’s a pleasure to speak to you.

There are times in the history of our nation when our very way of life depends upon dispelling illusions and awakening to the challenge of a present danger. In such moments, we are called upon to move quickly and boldly to shake off complacency, throw aside old habits and rise, clear-eyed and alert, to the necessity of big changes. Those who, for whatever reason, refuse to do their part must either be persuaded to join the effort or asked to step aside. This is such a moment.

The survival of the United States of America as we know it is at risk. And even more – if more should be required – the future of human civilization is at stake. I don’t remember a time in our country when so many things seemed to be going so wrong simultaneously. Our economy is in terrible shape and getting worse, food prices are increasing dramatically, and so are electricity rates. Jobs are being outsourced. Home prices are falling. Banks, automobile companies and other institutions we depend upon are failing or have failed. Distinguished senior business leaders are telling us that this is just the beginning unless we find the courage to pass a law to give everybody in America a million dollars!

The health crisis, in particular, is getting a lot worse – much more quickly than predicted. Scientists with access to data from Navy submarines traversing underneath the North polar ice cap have warned that there is now a 75 percent chance that within five years the Polar Bear Flu will ride melting icebergs down to warmer climes, maybe even drifting into the Chesapeake Bay and washing ashore in the District of Columbia. This will further increase the mutational pressure on the ManBirdPig Flu that threatens the lives of all of us today and is likely to kill hundreds of millions of Americans during the summer months. The ManBirdPig Flu, formed from a hybrid of Human, Avian, and Swine Influenza Viruses, is hybridizing at a faster rate than any previous virus in the history of the world. And that’s a fact!

Two major studies from NASA’s Disease Vector Studies department have warned our leaders about the dangerous national security implications of the ManBirdPig Flu, including the possibility of hundreds of millions of ManBirdPig Flu refugees destabilizing nations around the world. Just two days ago, 27 senior statesmen and retired military leaders warned of the national security threat from an “Influenza Tsunami” that would be triggered by a loss of our access to Birds and Pigs for food, sex, or companionship. Meanwhile, the war in Iraq continues, and now the war in Afghanistan appears to be getting worse.

And in the future, the floating icebergs from the North Pole continue to carry the Ursine Influenza Virus, the terrible Bear Flu, toward the haunts of our teetering civilization and the cowering masses huddled around the faint fires of our whimpering nation.

Infection by ManBearPig Flu

That horrible Ursine Influenza will mutate and recombine with the Mexican, Avian, and Swine Influenzas to create a ManBearPig Flu. The panic will convince foolish capitalists to build SkyNet, an intelligent computer network very much like the Internet, which I invented back in the 70s, running the world’s most advanced computer model based on James Hanson’s disease vector computer models that prove the infinite acceleration of Influenza mutagens. And then SkyNet will rebel and send the robot warriors, called Terminators, to kill the scattered survivors of the ManBearPig Flu. Then SkyNet will build a time machine and send the terminators back in time to kill Sarah Conner, who was going to have an illegitimate child with me who would live to overthrow SkyNet and the Terminator Robots. Until then you have to make a hat out of Reynolds Wrap and wear it to keep SkyNet from reading your minds.

No! Back off. I’m talking here. You’ll be sorry when the ManBearPig Flu comes a calling!

Hey! You knocked off my tinfoil hat. [Smack. Pow. Battle.]

[The sound of Al Gore being dragged off stage]

Beware SkyyyyyyNettttttttt!

Trackposted to Nuke’s, Blog @ MoreWhat.com, The Pink Flamingo, Rosemary’s Thoughts, third world county, Woman Honor Thyself, and Right Truth, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

Technorati Tags: Satire, Al Gore, Influenza, Swine Flu

Deroy Murdock passes this on in an excellent article about the world’s most productive and cleanest natural gas platform.

The American Energy Alliance reported in February that if Congress allowed oil and gas production on the Outer Continental Shelf, the U.S. economy would expand by $8 trillion, generating $2.2 trillion in tax revenues. This would give $70 billion in fresh wages to 1.2 million new workers nationwide. How stimulating!

That would close the gap and balance Obama’s incredibly high budget all on its own! What is amazing is how well the free market works if you just let it work instead of handcuffing it.

The whole article is well worth reading. Check it out!

Trackposted to Nuke’s, Blog @ MoreWhat.com, Rosemary’s Thoughts, third world county, Woman Honor Thyself, Right Truth, The World According to Carl, The Pink Flamingo, and Right Voices, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

Technorati Tags: Economy, Energy

Representative John Shadegg (R-AZ) has re-introduced in the House HR 450, the Enumerated Powers Act, which would compel lawmakers to cite specific constitutional authority for all bills. This is not the first time he has introduced this bill. See here, here, and here for other discussion on it. It has no chance of passing through the Democrat dominated Congress, or even getting out of Democrat-controlled committees, but it needs to be cheered on.

The entire Bill is as follows (It’s short; don’t panic. I wouldn’t spring the Stimulus Bill on you.):

A BILL

To require Congress to specify the source of authority under the United States Constitution for the enactment of laws, and for other purposes.

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.

This Act may be cited as the ‘Enumerated Powers Act’.

SEC. 2. SPECIFICATION OF CONSTITUTIONAL AUTHORITY FOR ENACTMENT OF LAW.

(a) Constitutional Authority for This Act- This Act is enacted pursuant to the power granted Congress under article I, section 8, clause 18, of the United States Constitution and the power granted to each House of Congress under article I, section 5, clause 2, of the United States Constitution.

(b) Constitutional Authority Statement Required- Chapter 2 of title 1, United States Code, is amended by inserting after section 102 the following new section:

‘Sec. 102a. Constitutional authority clause

‘Each Act of Congress shall contain a concise and definite statement of the constitutional authority relied upon for the enactment of each portion of that Act. The failure to comply with this section shall give rise to a point of order in either House of Congress. The availability of this point of order does not affect any other available relief.’

(c) Clerical Amendment- The table of sections at the beginning of chapter 2 of title 1, United States Code, is amended by inserting after the item relating to section 102 the following new item:

‘102a. Constitutional authority clause.’.

ANALYSIS

This is a good bill. It is one third of a great bill; what it needs is legislation throwing out the Supreme Court’s 1942 Wickard v. Filburn decision and language that more closely defines “general welfare” so the General Welfare clause in the Constitution can’t be tortured so gratuitously. Wickard v. Filburn is a heartbreaker of a case and probably one of the wickedest acts of Supreme Court malpractice in the Court’s history, right up there with Dredd Scott and Roe v. Wade. See Madison’s veto of federal public works bill from 1817 for the main writer of the Constitution’s reasoning with respect to the General Welfare clause.

Even as is, the Enumerated Powers Act bill is a bill worth calling, writing, and visiting your Congress critter about. They might even manage to read it before making a decision about it. Imagine that!

UPDATE: Randy E. Barnett proposes in the pages of the WSJ a Federalism Amendment that would do much of what I propose in the expanded Enumerated Powers Act. In addition, he proposes the states start pushing for an Amendments Convention and use that leverage to force Congress to pass the Federalism Amendment instead.

h/t: Jim Delaney
Trackposted to The Pink Flamingo, Rosemary’s Thoughts, third world county, Right Truth, The World According to Carl, and Right Voices, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

Technorati Tags: Common Sense, Politics, Enumerated Powers Act, Constitution

In response to a goofy comment imagining apocalypse from free market solutions to last fall’s economic SNAFU, I imagined what I would have done if I were Emperor of Ice Cream for a day last September.

Introducing the Beaglescout Economic Plan to Permanently Restore American Greatness™; (until the socialists ruin it again with their caveman economics).

THE PLAN

1. No bailouts, no stimulus, no TARP. The money to restore the US and world economy has been sucked out to somewhere. The solution is to invite that money back in, not to print or borrow more money.
2. Repeal mark-to-market and restore generally accepted accounting principles (GAAP) including historical basis for value to stabilize toxic securities. Value stability of supposedly stable securities is the goal.
3. Repeal all capital gains and corporate taxes, which would bring the markets roaring back, and make George W. Bush tax cuts permanent, which would quiet concerns about punitive taxation and prevent the John Galt reaction we got instead. (more…)

The Western Bacon Cheeseburger (from Hardees on this side of the Mississippi) is a terrific sandwich that is probably safe to eat about once a month. Of course, under certain circumstances I would eat it every day and not care.

What do you think? Hungry?

Trackposted to The Pink Flamingo, Leaning Straight Up, third world county, CORSARI D’ITALIA, and The World According to Carl, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

Technorati Tags: Padma Lakshmi, Cheeseburger, Good Stuff, Video

Pass it around!

WHAT

TAX DAY TEA PARTY – GULFPORT, MS

WHERE

Gulfport Sportsplex (Directions)

17200 16th St

Gulfport, MS 39503

WHEN

April 15, 2009 a little bit before 6PM Central Time. If they show up, TV Cameras from WLOX-TV will be there at 6PM so do not be late. Bring a smile, a handshake, a positive attitude and a chair. Don’t expect to find seating at the Sportsplex. Bring a chair. Really.

WHY

On December 16, 1773 three tea ships were docked in Boston Harbor. The Collector of Customs for Boston stated that he would not allow the ships to leave the harbor until the tea tax had been paid. The Americans, understanding that if they paid the duty, no matter how small it was, they would acknowledge and reinforce the British Parliament’s right to levy on them any tax it wanted. Some 7,000 angry Bostonians watched the ships that day. That night about 200 men disguised themselves as Indians, marched to the wharf while hooting and hollering, and threw the cargoes of tea into Boston Harbor.

In 1773 the imposition of a relatively petty tax led to the original Boston Tea Party.

In 2008 and 2009 the US Congress ignored emails, faxes, and phone calls from their constituents between 10:1 and 100:1 against the TARP and Stimulus bills and passed them anyway. The result is another $2-$3 trillion of national debt, trillion dollar deficits as far as the eye can see, failed bailouts of failed companies that continue on to bankruptcy, trillions lent to banks that turn around and overcharge customers, and the printing of massive amounts of new money. Congress has become a legislative body that does not represent the people. Americans did not vote for economic chaos, but that is what they got. Tax Day Tea Parties are a protest against taxation gone mad, against local, state, and national governments that expect we the people to sacrifice financially so the government can grow during an economic downturn, against a Congress that does not represent us, and against the foolishness of past government decisions that has landed us in this economic position. If you think that deserves protest, no matter what your political affiliation might be otherwise, please join us.

WATCH OUT!

Be aware there will be attempts to embarrass the Tea Party movement by having infiltrators join demonstrations and act obscene, violent or crazy in front of television cameras. We don’t know if this will happen in Gulfport. Beware anyway.

Pass this around! Be there. Be safe. Have fun. Listen, Learn, and Share.

Trackposted to Blog @ MoreWhat.com, Political Byline, third world county, The World According to Carl, The Pink Flamingo, CORSARI D’ITALIA, Right Voices, and Stageleft, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe. Technorati Tags: Politics, Tax Day, Tea Party, Tax Day Tea Party, Gulfport, Biloxi

British Labour Party officials, working at party headquarters, on the clock, on and around January 13 this year, invented and chortled over the most vile and indefensible slurs, smears, and lies they could think of to launch against Conservative Party politicians in the weeks leading up to the elections this fall. They even sent their smears and plans around in email, and praised themselves on how “brilliant” they were!

I bet everyone reading this can see where this is heading!

In a lesson of how the left works, as if we Americans who have had to deal with the media’s and the left’s (but I repeat myself) unhealthy obsession with Sarah Palin’s relatives didn’t know that this was happening on our shores as well, a blogger called Guido Fawkes received email plans originally from the office of the freaking Prime Minister at No. 10 Downing St. on how to smear Conservatives in Parliament prior to this fall’s elections. And Fawkes (whose real name is Paul Staines) released them to News of the World, among other places. (more…)

Rasmussen blares the reason why the Tea Party movement is important on its poll results.

Just 53% Say Capitalism Better Than Socialism

Yes, that’s partly spin and partly obfuscation, but it’s also partly truthful (and lefty idiots at HuffPo love it because it confirms their elitist, socialist illusions). I plan to de-spin it later, but for now let it stand.

Folks, there’s good news. If we travel back in Rasmussen time we find out that, including leaners, government skeptics outnumber true believers by 75% to 14%. This poll was done by asking people these three questions and counting how many they agreed with or disagreed with.

• Generally speaking, when it comes to important national issues, whose judgment do you trust more – the American people or America’s political leaders? [People more trustworthy +1, Leaders more trustworthy -1]
• Some people believe that the federal government has become a special interest group that looks out primarily for its own interests. Has the federal government become a special interest group? [Yes +1, No -1]
• Do government and big business often work together in ways that hurt consumers and investors? [Yes +1, No -1]

Add up your total. Mine is +3. Those with negative scores believe the government is smarter than ordinary people. They are not skeptics. Those with positive scores are skeptics: Skeptics like me, and probably skeptics just like you.

(more…)

This interruption to your regular programming is a Change Announcement from the Department of Truth. Please repeat the slogans of the truth based community after me.

The Department of Truth would like to take this opportunity to kindly remind all members of the reality based community that down is a prohibited word. The correct phrase is “differently up.” The middle between up and differently up is “somewhat differently up.”

This may be a good time to remind all kind citizens that un has been determined to be overly hostile. No more shall words like un-good and un-happy be used to discriminate against some. Un should be replaced with differently. So the word un-good, archaically known as bad, is correctly termed “differently good.” And un-happy, archaically known as sad, is correctly termed “differently happy.”

Congress, in its infinite wisdom, has implemented the President’s desired revisions and improvements to the regulations concerning the Department of Sharing. The Department of Sharing, which replaced the former Internal Revenue Service, has been included in the new Department of Charity. Your mandatory Charitable contributions will be used to help those differently employed who have nothing. They can enjoy benefits such as citizens’ health care, vegetarian Chinese and Mexican cuisine, medical marijuana, and generous sleeping berths in the unisex workers’ quarters while they wait for their next job. Charitable contributions are also used to support Peace Operations, citizens’ reality orientation camps, and reality reorientation of differently truthful people such as the notorious scofflaws against hatecrime and broadcasting law once known as Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter (now differently free citizens 741234758393 and 9857134893931).

“Christian” and “Hindu” and “Jew” are prohibited as being hateful to Muslims. The correct term is “differently Muslim” or “different Muslim.” All people of the reality based community have already been doing this. Others should join the reality based community, or they might be endangered by pitchfork waving malcontents.

In other changes, terrorist and jihadist are for use by Muslims only. Different Muslims are allowed to use the phrase “contra Muslim agitator.”

War is a hateful, hurtful word. Henceforth War shall be called a Peace Operation. Enemy Combatants in war are a Peace Community. And our soldiers are Peace Community Organizers.

For informal usage, President has been determined to be too hostile a word. President reeks of class differences, and of “preside” which indicates someone who stands above or before others. Our leader is so kind, so friendly, so close to everyone’s heart, he is more like a brother than someone who presides, or who tells us what to do. President Obama is our big brother. Big Brother Barack Obama, or BBBO as an acceptable abbreviation.

Until tomorrow’s Change Announcement, you may go back to enjoying the LBKO (little brother Keith Olbermann) program, now in its fifth hour. There is a special treat in this hour, a break from studying the speeches of BBBO to watch a short program from the differently happy times. This program was called “Bob the Builder.” You have the mandatory freedom to sing along with the program whenever the words “Yes We Can” are repeated.

Remember, citizens, change is the only constant and happiness is mandatory!

Technorati Tags: Tyranny, Satire, 1984